10.02.2006

Resolution.

Okay, I've found something to blog about.  It hit me last night that a lot of the anxiety and worry in my life comes from my nonresponse to things I avoid or just really don't want to take care of.  i.e., I really don't like talking on the phone outside of the quick, "yeah, I'm on my way, see you in a few" or something like that.  So, I avoid returning calls.  This ends up just making me feel like, "oh, I need to return so-andso's call" all the time.  And similarly, I avoid other tasks that I find boring, like writing my Thank You notes from the wedding (which I am finally working on).  So there gets to be a lot of stuff like this that I just avoid and inadvertently bring anxiety and stress on myself.  Anyhow, part of my phone avoidance is, of course, my family (because it's not you, it's the phone...  really) and I haven't called some of my extended family in a long time; though, last night, I found that I felt pretty good after chatting online with my uncle for about an hour.  And so, what I've been leading up to is the resolution that I feel much better if I just take care of business and get it off of my back (brilliant, I know).  However, what I mean to get at is the slightly more abstract idea that you're more comfortable playing towards resolution rather than trying to stay in your comfort zone.  So why is it a comfort zone.  I don't know, I'm just trying to blog here.  Find your resolution zone and you'll find your comfort zone, but a comfort zone is not meant to relax in.

8.25.2006

The Posts You've Been Looking-Out For.

1) The Baby.
Okay, as for a post on the baby, yes, Kippy and I are pregnant.  It was unexpected, but we're totally stoked about it.  All my life, despite having a pitiful excuse for a father myself, everyone's always said that I'm going to make a great father.  So, I'm pretty excited to have my time to shine finally arrive.  I think I will make an incredible father (not to pat myself on the back, but that's exactly what I'd like to do).  Despite my relaxed attitude towards absolutely everything else in my life, I will take this very seriously.  This is not a false promise, but more of an absolute gut feeling that raising strong children is something that God meant for me to do.  I feel like this is part of my calling.  Anyhow, we are indeed very excited about being parents and I'm totally looking forward to everything involved.
2) Being the spiritual leader of my family.
Simply put, this is something that I just need to suck it up on and take charge of.  I don't like to pray out loud...  at all.  However, I need to get past this as part of being the spiritual leader of my family.  Part of what I also need to focus on is reading and memorizing scripture.  I used to do this more as a young Christian, but not so much anymore.  Anyhow, our Core group talked about this last night and mainly focused on how to easily memorize scripture; namely, via visualization.  This is something I used to do a lot for not just scripture memorization, but for anything I needed to remember.  So, this really inspired me to get back on my horse with reading the Bible and working harder to memorize it.  One thing that really hit me was that, last night, one of the big point Ian made was that (or something like this), "you live what you know."  Anyhow, I just got to thinking that it would be a major support in my life to be able to recall scripture, not just for those I may be talking with, but to more easily keep myself in check through reminding myself of God's word.  Anyhow, that's something for me to work on.
3) How I relate to those around me.
I find it hard to create stronger relationships as of late.  I was discussing this with Daniel before I left the office yesterday too, and he seemed to have very similar views.  Anyhow, I find that in post-college life, people are less apt to make close relationships by simply being close.  Everyone seems to feel like you need to get close to be close, rather than being close to stay close...  or something like that.  The way that I've always related to my closest friends is that we've just clicked.  I feel like I just click with a lot of people too, but I feel like most people would find it strange if you were to just call them up and say, "Hey, let's go hang out" and the two of you just went and hung out.  I feel like most people would be in anticipation of something rather than just being like, oh cool, we'll just hang out.  Anyhow, I don't think that you can ever be really good friends with someone if you're "waiting to grow closer as friends".  If you want to have strong friendships, you just need to let it fly and be close friends from one.
4) The possibility of a tattoo.
Plain and simple...  I really want one.  However, I'm incredibly particular about pretty much everything, so I only want a tattoo of my own art.  Again, I'm incredibly meticulous, so I will probably never get around to sitting down to draw-up my perfect design.  However, it is certainly a goal for someday.

8.20.2006

Posts to Lookout for...

Posts to expect from me very soon...

- One on the baby.
- One on my being the spiritual leader of my family.
- One on how I relate to those around me.
- Maybe one on my (AGAIN) pondering the possibility of a tattoo.

...stay tuned.